Our New Normal

I write because I enjoy the feeling of putting my words out there- not necessarily so anyone can read them, but so that I can say them without actually saying them. It's a release and it feels good.

Where have I been in the last 6 months? Lost and Hurt but finding a way back. I recently (in the past 3 months) decided that having a relationship with my dad was not worth the pain and confusion it causes. How many people can say that? Knowing what I know about the importance of family, you would think that my thought process would be completely opposite. But one thing that I did realize over the last 6 months of therapy and finding my "new normal" was that negativity has lost a place in my heart. And those that come with negativity are no longer welcome. Unfortunately, one of those people contributed half of my DNA (and little else, I might add).

I would elaborate further, but as I sit here, I realize it isn't worth my effort. It just is what it is.

We have some exciting things to look forward to this summer! Jack and I are excited about the birth of our niece, Aubrey Grace, at the end of June (although, I am seriously shooting for July 2, which was Mike's birthday). We are also looking forward to our family vacation at the end of August with our entire family! Sweet! We also have plans of our own, but nothing is official yet... I do know that we are in Raleigh to stay, plant our roots, and grow our Christian family. How lucky that after 29 years, I am certain about who I hope to spend a lifetime of happiness with...

My new normal is here, and where I thought that six months ago my life would hold steady on a course of disbelief and hatred, I now know that it was intended that I live on and be the example of strength my family needs me to be. It took 18 months, but I am here. And I pray that each step I take is in a better direction.