A New Year

I'm sure everyone's blogs start off with that headline, don't they? My place is quiet this morning as Jack is still asleep and the blinds are open already. The sun is shining, the sky is clear, and I am happy- None of which have happened too often lately. Right now, I feel like there is only one way to go and that is up and I am holding on to that feeling. My most recent session with Dr. Kincade was more insightful as I learned to further control my emotionally explosive outburts of anger. I even practiced last night...

I hate ignorance. I hate judgments and stereotypes. I really hate the idea that people vote or don't vote for someone because of the color of their skin. And I really really hate when people, because they are of a certain color, now believe that the person they voted for (who is of the same color) should now make reparations for slavery a constitutional law, should make Jet magazine an official encyclopedia, and Snakes on a Plane now deserves an Oscar for Best Picture. I know, I went too far, but my loyal fans should get the idea. So as we were walking out the door to go to dinner and a movie with our fabulous group of friends, there was an analyst on TV for the Tom Joyner radio morning show discussing how disappointed the black community is in the job Obama is doing and that because the largest constituency for his election into office was the black community, they expect that he would do more for them... blah, blah, blah. Okay... so I'm shaking my head, because I am disgusted and of course Jack (who is my most loving, adorable, black boyfriend) does not agree with my shaking my head. This moment really could affect the entire night... So I think back to what the doc said about detached observation- removing yourself, if but for a few seconds, to weigh your options and observe how each decision would affect the outcome. I did good.

I simply said, "I don't understand why these folks don't get that he's only been there 1 year and he still has time to prove himself." Not hateful, not judgemental, just simply stating my lack of understanding for the situation. Jack made a comment and where I know I could have kept going, I stopped. I thought about how much I would have made his life a living hell for the next few hours and I decided that it wasn't worth it. And we had a great evening. All is well, and I found myself just shocked at how shocked I was that we didn't fight, bicker, or argue at all. And I realized that 90% of the fights are the ones I start. Craziness!

It's gonna be a great year if I keep up this pace...